[ it'll take her a second to fully realize that he isn't by the door on his way out and is, unfortunately for her, still very much in the room. the moment the realization hits her, she already knows it's too late to cover herself up so she'll just freeze in spot.
behold. the glory of a teary eyed but now shocked izumo. ]
I, I thought you were leaving.
[ for the record, the flowers are pretty and the cake was vanilla topped in a white chocolate with chocolate chips for eyes. ]
[this was not the surprise she wanted. he doesn't start walking closer or anything, but he turns to face her head-on, flowers loosely in his hand as he frowns again.]
Not yet. [and definitely not now. he can't avoid the question any longer and also her cake pops sound adorable.] What's wrong?
[ it was a nyan cake pop because izumo likes cute things a whole lot. ]
No, nothing that you need to concern yourself with. [ despite saying all of this, of course, there will still be tears leaking from her eyes now and then that she'll stubbornly rub away as she tries to save face.
somehow. (there's really no saving face and she knows.) ] I'll be over it soon. You can forget you saw this.
[the flowers are set on the bed because they are no longer a priority and he'll start to walk closer. somehow it's more alarming to see that she's still crying? crying is bad.]
Um, I'm still here. [he can't really forget this?? izumo please.] Why were you hiding in the bathroom?
[ she's being more aggressive in wiping her face because talking about it, rather, just coming up on the topic is making it all worse. she's been so good!! ]
It's embarrassing— [ she just uses her forearm to cover her face at this point. ] —to be seen like this. Like some sort of crybaby.
And hiding in a blanket in the bathroom's better? [it comes off slightly snarky but the concern doesn't disappear. she can keep aggressively rubbing her face while he crosses the room until he's right in front of her. he's also sticking his foot in the doorway in case she decides to slam it shut. nooooo escaping!
[ she doesn't have anything to say in response to that and the fact that he blocks her off from running away just has her biting down on her bottom lip as she struggles. stupid her. stupid place. stupid, stupid everything.
she hates it. she should better—stronger. she lowers her hands and head as she curls into a ball. her voice breaking when she does finally offer something. ]
[despite the fact he doesn't entirely know the context of those words, the implication is enough to understand why it would move someone to tears. having nothing left and having no hope...it's an awful feeling.
so even as her voice breaks (and thanks to whatever the hell is happening in town) he allows his hand to reach forward to grab her arm lightly as if he's trying to get her to listen.]
[ sora is able to reach out and touch her, that's fine. the weekly effect has her more forgiving in this physical affection/comfort thing because otherwise she would have slapped his hand away.
...if anything she'll respond by simply just reaching onto his arm like a lifeline. she doesn't say anything else about the questions he asked her, unfortunately, and just shakes her head as she starts to cry in full again. (she's endured so much for so long.)
big shame this didn't happen later where they might have been closer for her to open up just a hair more. ]
[mood. big shame because he has no idea what he's supposed to do here but he lets her hold on as tight as she wants. it's very obvious to him that whatever she's heard and whatever's happened to her is too big to handle alone. it could be enough to crush a person.
so. as she continues to cry, he does the only thing that seems to make sense to him and his other arm comes up to hug her. hugs help when people are sad, and even if he's pretty sure she'd claw his face off in a normal situation this is a little different.
but he also realizes he has to wait to get an answer. this will have to do for now.]
[ the hug doesn't exactly take her by surprise—it's what she can expect from someone given the situation—and under any other circumstance, she would have shoved him away, cursed at him, and stormed out of the room to find somewhere to hide. though thanks to the effects, she'll just allow it to happen as she keeps holding on.
deep down, there is a part of her that is eased by the hug but the rest of her still rejects it. it's still a while before the tears and she can't help but wonder while she cries what this might look like. how many days has it been?
ridiculous. but once she's able to wrestle control over her emotions again, her arms go slack and they just fall limp around her. she has some mind to say something but... nothing. sorry sora. ]
[well it's fine. he doesn't mind waiting and has enough patience to let her cry herself out while he doesn't let go. even when she goes slack and when she stays quiet he doesn't pull away but he gives himself time to pick the best words.]
[ while sora decides on what he wants to say to her, izumo continues to try to settle her mind and quietly repeats her mantra to herself as a way to hopefully calm herself down. it seems stupid but as soon as she hears sora's attempts to assure her, it's the only thing that stops her from reacting violently.
all she does instead is laugh weakly and shake her head. in some way she knows he's right—they had this competition to take part in but. well... ]
Don't say that as though you know what's going on.
Do I have to know in order to believe that's true? [yes. and this is probably the place he falters most because he strongly believes in the best for and of people even if that isn't possible. sometimes his own stubbornness and sheer drive to make things right sends him off in a dangerous direction, and sometimes he just needs to listen better.
this is probably one of those times.] How can I know what's going on if you can't tell me?
[ his initial response to her has her gritting her teeth and would have ended with her lashing out at him—she still has the mind to—but all of the crying and the news that she has heard so far today has her tired. she's tired. she was tired even before she came here. if only she had someone to...
......
she seethes quietly while thinking of an answer that will just have to be Good Enough. ]
It has to do with how I was captured before I came here.
well, one person but that's because she told them but it's fine. the less people know the better. and she heavily debates whether or not if she should tell sora or not but...
he really won't leave her alone until she gives him more to work with, huh? ]
Then maybe whatever they said isn't really the right thing to say. Like a misunderstanding or something. [he won't say it's an outright lie because he has no idea what it is, but he can at least support the idea that it might not be what she thinks it is.]
[ well, one thing that's coming out of this as a positive is that the more she talks the less inclined to cry. ...and is actually getting over it sooner than she had when she was locked in the bathroom.
who knew talking about your feelings could do this? izumo sure didn't. ]
No, I'm fairly certain they knew what they were saying.
[even if she sounds cynical and even if her anger is apparent he doesn't let himself back down. instead, his hold on her is a little tighter as if it will get his words to sink in further and he shakes his head.]
No it's not. A goal isn't an empty promise at all. Even if you don't know where to start or how, just knowing what your destination is will be enough. If you let your heart guide you...you'll know. So even if I don't understand why, I know it's something that should be changed because it's hurting you.
Every step is another step closer to making things right. Even if it doesn't feel like it.
suddenly izumo has all the strength and vigor back that she lost as she was crying because without much warning she'll push herself onto her knees and wrench herself free just enough so she can slap sora across the face with an open palm.
her eyes are red, her face tear stained and blotchy from all of her crying, and honestly...is just a mess but she doesn't care. every word he said, while being filled with good intentions, is the exact opposite of what she'd ever want to hear. ]
Don't...
[ everything about her is trembling—her voice, hands, very person. trembling from her anger. ]
Don't talk to me like you know me. [ slowly she stands up, gathering the blankets with her. ] Like you know what's going on.
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behold. the glory of a teary eyed but now shocked izumo. ]
I, I thought you were leaving.
[ for the record, the flowers are pretty and the cake was vanilla topped in a white chocolate with chocolate chips for eyes. ]
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Not yet. [and definitely not now. he can't avoid the question any longer and also her cake pops sound adorable.] What's wrong?
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No, nothing that you need to concern yourself with. [ despite saying all of this, of course, there will still be tears leaking from her eyes now and then that she'll stubbornly rub away as she tries to save face.
somehow. (there's really no saving face and she knows.) ] I'll be over it soon. You can forget you saw this.
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Um, I'm still here. [he can't really forget this?? izumo please.] Why were you hiding in the bathroom?
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[ she's being more aggressive in wiping her face because talking about it, rather, just coming up on the topic is making it all worse. she's been so good!! ]
It's embarrassing— [ she just uses her forearm to cover her face at this point. ] —to be seen like this. Like some sort of crybaby.
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but he's still giving her a quiet, unsure look.]
Whatever it was must have been really bad.
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she hates it. she should better—stronger. she lowers her hands and head as she curls into a ball. her voice breaking when she does finally offer something. ]
There's nothing waiting for me.
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so even as her voice breaks (and thanks to whatever the hell is happening in town) he allows his hand to reach forward to grab her arm lightly as if he's trying to get her to listen.]
...what do you mean? How do you know?
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...if anything she'll respond by simply just reaching onto his arm like a lifeline. she doesn't say anything else about the questions he asked her, unfortunately, and just shakes her head as she starts to cry in full again. (she's endured so much for so long.)
big shame this didn't happen later where they might have been closer for her to open up just a hair more. ]
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so. as she continues to cry, he does the only thing that seems to make sense to him and his other arm comes up to hug her. hugs help when people are sad, and even if he's pretty sure she'd claw his face off in a normal situation this is a little different.
but he also realizes he has to wait to get an answer. this will have to do for now.]
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deep down, there is a part of her that is eased by the hug but the rest of her still rejects it. it's still a while before the tears and she can't help but wonder while she cries what this might look like. how many days has it been?
ridiculous. but once she's able to wrestle control over her emotions again, her arms go slack and they just fall limp around her. she has some mind to say something but... nothing. sorry sora. ]
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...it's not the end.
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all she does instead is laugh weakly and shake her head. in some way she knows he's right—they had this competition to take part in but. well... ]
Don't say that as though you know what's going on.
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this is probably one of those times.] How can I know what's going on if you can't tell me?
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......
she seethes quietly while thinking of an answer that will just have to be Good Enough. ]
It has to do with how I was captured before I came here.
[ now, is that good enough for him? ]
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Did you ask your Leader or something...? [he still has no idea she and shima are from the same place, or shiro.]
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well, one person but that's because she told them but it's fine. the less people know the better. and she heavily debates whether or not if she should tell sora or not but...
he really won't leave her alone until she gives him more to work with, huh? ]
I did.
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How much do they really know?
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could what they said be a lie? if so, how many more lies will she endure? ]
Who knows.
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who knew talking about your feelings could do this? izumo sure didn't. ]
No, I'm fairly certain they knew what they were saying.
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Then...we just have to change it. Whatever it is.
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izumo will not bend to these wishes so soon. ]
Listen to yourself; you don't even know what you want to change.
[ cynicism drips from her voice and the anger she was feeling radiates from her as she slowly lifts her head. ]
How can you possibly have the nerve to say that when you don't even have a place to start? It's just an empty promise.
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No it's not. A goal isn't an empty promise at all. Even if you don't know where to start or how, just knowing what your destination is will be enough. If you let your heart guide you...you'll know. So even if I don't understand why, I know it's something that should be changed because it's hurting you.
Every step is another step closer to making things right. Even if it doesn't feel like it.
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suddenly izumo has all the strength and vigor back that she lost as she was crying because without much warning she'll push herself onto her knees and wrench herself free just enough so she can slap sora across the face with an open palm.
her eyes are red, her face tear stained and blotchy from all of her crying, and honestly...is just a mess but she doesn't care. every word he said, while being filled with good intentions, is the exact opposite of what she'd ever want to hear. ]
Don't...
[ everything about her is trembling—her voice, hands, very person. trembling from her anger. ]
Don't talk to me like you know me. [ slowly she stands up, gathering the blankets with her. ] Like you know what's going on.
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