[ despite the troubling things both behind them and ahead of them - clem is still basking in having gotten all the dead back. that's a lot, for her. so she gives him a quick smile. ]
[ she nods, like - it does change a lot! even if what she says is kind of the opposite. ]
It's... Weird. I forgot a lot of people. But it was like - each time I lost my memories of someone I cared for who died, it didn't really matter. Because that's just how the world works. Even if I lost the specific people, I still knew how things were.
So in a way, even losing those memories it just felt like since they were already dead it wasn't as big of a deal as it would've been forgetting someone alive. Those people would be gone regardless. Something like that?
[he doesn't know if he entirely understands, but he can guess well enough.]
No matter how many people this place took away from me, it didn't change what I know. [ that groups go wrong. that you get attached to people and then they die. ]
If I forgot Lee - I still remembered everyone else who died. And no matter how many names I forgot, there were still more and more and more. Nick, Luke, Kenny, Rebecca, Alvin, Sarah... [ ... ] ... Gabe...
That's...a lot of names, Clem. [which like. he gets. she's from a place people die frequently, but it's still a little heartbreaking to think about especially knowing what she's going to go back to after this is over.]
...nothing about this place changed your mind at all?
Technically we should do whatever we want to do, even if it's just talking about this kind of stuff. [and then, awkwardly:] I made a cake? I left it in the kitchen.
Something like that. I already tried to feed some to Bucky and I'm not even sure he appreciated it. [it's a joke, he isn't too bothered by it.] But I kinda thought it'd be nice for whoever wanted something to enjoy for the night.
[let's not address how depressing all of that is.]
Yeah...I don't really know how to fix something like that without magic, but at least there're ways to cook without electricity. You have enough resources to keep making fires, right?
Now that I remember more... I might not be moving on from Ericson's. I forgot about it, pretty early on. But those kids I'm helping out have a place to stay. A place that me and AJ can stay.
[ she shrugs! it's something she has very mixed feelings about. she's happy to have a tentative home, since she's been wanting that for aj for so long. it's definitely better than getting back and having nothing.
but it's still a big step down from somewhere like the realm. ]
Mm. It's in a good spot. Well hidden. There's even a greenhouse, and a river nearby.
[ ... but he says that last thing and. she doesn't really respond to it. this is the down-side to trying to enjoy something that you know is temporary. the closer you get to the end... ]
I get the feeling I was more excited about it all, months ago.
[ her smile is a bit weak, but... well, now she remembers all her plans with violet to improve the place. all the things she's going to help everyone do when she and aj actually make it back to the school after the raid. ]
... Yep.
By the time you show up it'll be like a mansion. [ she's kidding? good. ]
Good. I've got high expectations, you know. [he's not serious, but it's still nice to see her easing into it a little. by now they're at the inn at least and he'll lead them to the kitchen.]
It'll be good to have something to work on, don't you think? Like a new project. [productivity! but maybe that's just him knowing he can't stop and figuring maybe she's similar.]
w7 friday
...looks like everything's just about normal again, huh?
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Whatever normal even means.
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anyway. yeah. the dead are back and he looks way too elated about it.]
I'm starting to think normal can mean a lot of different things, buuuut...got our friends and our memories back, didn't we?
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Yeah. At least that's out of the way.
I was missing more than I thought. I... [ ... nevermind. ] What about you?
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...I was missing a lot. Little pieces that made up a whole picture, but it all makes sense now. Does it change much?
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It's... Weird. I forgot a lot of people. But it was like - each time I lost my memories of someone I cared for who died, it didn't really matter. Because that's just how the world works. Even if I lost the specific people, I still knew how things were.
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[he doesn't know if he entirely understands, but he can guess well enough.]
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No matter how many people this place took away from me, it didn't change what I know. [ that groups go wrong. that you get attached to people and then they die. ]
If I forgot Lee - I still remembered everyone else who died. And no matter how many names I forgot, there were still more and more and more. Nick, Luke, Kenny, Rebecca, Alvin, Sarah... [ ... ] ... Gabe...
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...nothing about this place changed your mind at all?
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[ there are more names, she just. stopped at a point. ]
... Sorry. We should be celebrating.
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Technically we should do whatever we want to do, even if it's just talking about this kind of stuff. [and then, awkwardly:] I made a cake? I left it in the kitchen.
[when the fuck did he have time to bake a cake.]
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A welcome-back cake for everyone?
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[ she dusts off. let's go have cake. ]
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It's probably the last time I'll have access to a full kitchen for a while anyway, so I was getting in some last-minute practice.
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... Right.
[ don't like this. ]
I might have a kitchen, but no electricity. Kind of a waste.
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Yeah...I don't really know how to fix something like that without magic, but at least there're ways to cook without electricity. You have enough resources to keep making fires, right?
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Yeah. Surrounded by a whole forest.
Now that I remember more... I might not be moving on from Ericson's. I forgot about it, pretty early on. But those kids I'm helping out have a place to stay. A place that me and AJ can stay.
[ she shrugs! it's something she has very mixed feelings about. she's happy to have a tentative home, since she's been wanting that for aj for so long. it's definitely better than getting back and having nothing.
but it's still a big step down from somewhere like the realm. ]
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[...it's important for her, he thinks, to have somewhere that can provide even the slightest amount of temporary safety.]
Besides, that'll just make it easier for me to come find you again someday.
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[ ... but he says that last thing and. she doesn't really respond to it. this is the down-side to trying to enjoy something that you know is temporary. the closer you get to the end... ]
I get the feeling I was more excited about it all, months ago.
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Just got spoiled being here, that's all.
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... Yep.
By the time you show up it'll be like a mansion. [ she's kidding? good. ]
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It'll be good to have something to work on, don't you think? Like a new project. [productivity! but maybe that's just him knowing he can't stop and figuring maybe she's similar.]
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